I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
