You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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