Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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