Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He felt like a one man threesome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
