Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
