You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
