i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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