Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
