So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
