i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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