It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
