i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
