This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
