Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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