i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
