it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize