Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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