You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
