Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
