the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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