You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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