Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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