i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
