You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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You left your underwear on the fireplace
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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