right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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