he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
