my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
