So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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