what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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