Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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