woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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