There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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