my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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