I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
