there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
