I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize