I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize