Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
