He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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