so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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