how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
