so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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