i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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