All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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