he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
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My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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