Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
