She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
