I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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