i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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