All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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