he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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