I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
