Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
