I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize