It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
