That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i out mim tonsoeep
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
