this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
