This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
