I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
