If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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