we made out on top of his cat.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
