we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
