Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
