Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's always time for handjobs
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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