I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
