Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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