I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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