are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
