margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
