She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
